Big boy...8 weeks, bumbo and oops, a little spittle.

What a big boy.  He LOVES sitting up in his Bumbo and mommy LOVES his smiles...win win.

Fresh starts

Mason and I are moving!  We got an apartment that I can afford all on my own and will be moving the beginning of November.  I'm super duper excited and can't wait.  Patience has never been my strong suit but I'm trying.

Mason's 7 weeks old now and laughed for the first time yesterday.  Of course he'd just made what we refer to as "Mason's split pee poop soup" for mommy and was probably laughing AT me instead of WITH me but I'll take it.  Cutest sound ever.

When we went to the doctor for his cold they weighed him and he's up to 10lbs 3oz!  We go for 2 month shots in a couple weeks.  Time is FLYING.

He's really strong and loves to pull on your fingers and try to pull himself up.  He holds his head up really well and his legs kick constantly.  He's started pushing up with his legs and I'm pretty sure he's going to LOVE a johnny jump up when he's big enough for one.

He's still got all of that awesome hair and his eyes are lightening up and seem to be headed towards my blue which I'm pretty excited about.

Ryan and I have filed our divorce and long story short are waiting on the Judge's approval.  Then we move on.

New apartment, divorce and a perfect baby... Life is looking up.

 

Helping mom get ready for work this morning...I guess it was hard work!

 

 

7 crazy awesome weeks

Can you believe it's been 7 weeks since this little monster made his way into the world?  It's been amazing and I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything.  Here's to you little man...adventure on!

The terrifying first cold..

Whoof it's been a long couple of weeks.  Poor little Mason got his first cold.  Unfortunately mommy got one at the same time.  I tell you what...you really wish for a second, third and maybe 10th set of arms when you're a single mom with a head cold and a sick baby!  I've never felt so helpless as when the little guy looked at me with that sad little face and practically begged me with those big blue eyes to make it feel better.  That's my job right?  Mommy the fixer.  And telling him that I can't fix it...explaining to him that I can squirt saline up his nose, suck the boogies out with that mean blue bulby thing, prop him up and run the humidifier...but I can't just make it better.  Feeling like he's blaming me for that, regardless of how unreasonable it is to feel that way....for hecks sake he's a month and a half old.  He's blissfully unaware of the human ability to place blame.  Giving him every minute I can of snuggles and doing my best to make him comfortable while his tiny little body fights off the oogies.  Second guessing everything...is he propped up enough?  Is it too much?  Is it going to hurt his neck or is he going to slip down and get burried under his blankie?  OMG I'm going to kill him by trying to keep him warm!  Rediculous crazy thoughts right?  Totally.  But the world is terrifying when you have a baby!  Some moms are super strong rock stars and some second guess EVERYTHING...I'd like to say I'm right in the middle.  Oh!  Don't forget the worry that I'm the one who got him sick.  Did I bring home some horrible germs and infect my baby?!  Bad mommy.  Bad.

Enter logic.  Mason was born at the end of summer so he's too young when fall and winter hit for any of the good drugs that mask the symptoms and help make it bearable to be sick.  His babysitter's daughter goes to school and could have come into contact with any number of oogies, or we could have found them in the grocery store, the doctor's office...who knows!  Covering him with a blankie is NOT going to kill him and he's going to let me know if he's propped in a way that makes him uncomfortable.  This is when I look in the mirror and yell GET A GRIP MOMMY.

Fast forward two weeks and we feel much better.  WE lived.  Who'd have thought.

Waaa waaa waaa says the mommy

For some reason this post from September 9th didn't publish. An update on my condition is that it's not in hernia but a blood clot, my incision is finally healing, and the blood clot will reabsorb on its own. No worries.

Here's the post:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wanna hear my latest drama?

I think I have a hernia. I've never had one but I have a knot the size of a golf ball above my incision (which is still somewhat infected), the knot is tender to the touch and it's not going away.

Day before yesterday I was sitting in the recliner and they sat my darling niece on my lap, which is the best I can do because I can't lift the wiggly 4-month old. (she's such a ball of adorable fun that it's sooo hard to not pick her up and play with her!)  She was getting sleepy so I turned her around and started rocking her. She decided to fight me and kicked me squarely in the owie/guts. Lets just say ouch is an understatement.  I couldn't figure out why it hurt soooo bad because she didn't kick my incision, she kicked above it.  So I was feeling my lower abdomen that night to try to isolate the main source of the pain and that's when I found the lump.

Best part? (Enter sarcasm)
This is my last week off work and when this week's over I'll also be completely out of sick leave, vacation days AND comp time. So, in short, I don't friggin have TIME for a hernia.
And to add insult to injury my sister and her little family go back to Washington Tuesday. Super-duper sad face.

BUT...
The beautiful part of being Mason's mommy is that even as I type this he's snoozing away in his cradle and I'm so full of love for my little angel that I'm not even mad at my situation. I couldn't have imagined a love this big and pure a month ago. Mind = blown. 

A quick minute...

Guess who is 4 weeks old already!  It seems like it happened all of a sudden...like I blinked and its passed us by.  The 4 week mark means I have to go back to work...Monday is the dreaded first day back. It would be easy to lose my weekend to the dread of Monday but I'm trying to focus on the amazing 4 weeks I've just experienced instead of the upset of what's coming.

Mason's growing like a weed.  He's got himself a little Buddha belly and it's adorable.  His big cheeks make his smile all that more precious and he's making all sorts of new noises, coos and such.  He's sleeping an average of 3 hours between feedings at night and if I play my cards right he only gets me up twice.  We're trying "dream" feeding, which is where you put them down and once they're asleep you feed them (carefully) while they sleep and it helps them stay fuller and sleep longer before the first wake up of the night.  He's getting the hang of it. :)  

He's bumped up to 4 ounce bottles and during the day eats every 2-3 hours.  He's definitely a growing boy. I got on mom's scale with him day before yesterday and he weighed in at exactly 9 pounds.  Love my little Moo.  

He smiles a lot and loves to stare at shadows and shapes.  He's a pacifier baby and loves his wubbanubs (pacifiers with stuffed animals attached...he has Dino the Dinosaur and Leo the Lion).  He's a great snuggler and is starting to really like tummy time.  He holds his head up really well but isn't quite sure what to do with it from there.  He's very strong and has gained a lot of strength in his arms and legs in the last couple weeks. He "flops" a lot less now than he used to.

His eyes are a beautiful blue still and he's still got a full head of hair.  His eyes and his hair are lightening up and I'm excited to see what he ends up with.  His hair gets really fluffy after his baths and reminds me of a hedgehog.  Fitting, right?  He seems to like his baths in his tub, but isn't a fan of sink baths or sponge baths. 

He's still hopelessly addicted to his hands and they're always at his face.  He does this adorable thing when you put a paci in his mouth where one hand automatically goes to the paci and the other goes up and plays with his ear or hair.  It reminds me of Prince John on the Disney cartoon Robin Hood...

We had some help from a friend (Thanks Melissa Blue!) yesterday and managed to get some great 1 month shots.  He's just so easy to be around and even easier to take pictures of because he's not only adorable but he's also very expressive.  I can't help but think I've hit the lotto with this kid.  He's pretty cool.

Here are the pictures that Gene Russell's studio took while we were still in the hospital and then the pictures we took yesterday for his one month.  :)  

In these 4 photos he was 2 days old.

These are the one month pictures from yesterday.

It's so cool.  Every day I wake up and wonder what he's going to do next.  I can't wait to watch this kid grow up.

A Mother's Prayer

I came across this today.  It's almost as perfect as my little boy.

A Mother’s Prayer

I hold you in my arms

And together we softly sway

As I rock you to sleep

And this is what I pray:

I pray for your safety

Your health and happiness, too

I ask God to wrap you in his love

In Everything You do

I pray you’ll never know

A single ounce of pain

That you carry no burden

And that you smile through the rain

I pray you have the will

To make all your dreams come true

And that you find success

In all you set out to do

I pray for your future

One that I hope is bright

And if you have the choice

To always do what’s right

I pray you have peace

And love inside your heart

Not just for yourself

But for those less fortunate than you are

I pray you grow into a person

Who values those you love

And that loyalty and honesty

Are not just things you speak of

I pray so many things for you

Because I love you so

Because you are a little piece of me

My heart and my soul

Wild and crazy Pennsylvania

Little boys are such an adventure.
Starting with birth you're dealing with things that little girls couldn't even think of. I'm sure that little girls have adventures all their own but only my experience is this little boy...and his little fire hose, which has a mind of its own.  I seem to be at war with my son's weewee...And it's winning.
Let's talk circumcision. You get to see them in pain and are not able to do anything about it. It's completely heart breaking. There's no baby Tylenol to be given, no shot of whiskey to calm their little nerves. Apparently whiskey's frowned upon... Who knew?  They just suffer through it.
The nurse said it feels like a really bad sunburn. Then it blisters over with the goo it oozes (did I mention it's disgusting?) and eventually, in 7-10 long days, it's all better.
The best part is the Vaseline. You get to coat the front of the diaper with Vaseline so his little dingaling doesn't stick to the diaper while its healing. Anyone who knows anything knows that Vaseline wicks moisture. Coating the diaper with moisture wicking vaseline keeps it from doing its job. I'm here to tell you that the pee has to go somewhere. Truth be told, it goes everywhere.
My darling Mason is on his 8th set of clothes for the day, if you count this mornings change on yesterday's tally. Its 1:30 in the morning and I have no sheets on my bed. There's a blanket, which was recently washed due to a mishap with another diaper change, on top of the mattress and that will totally work for now. I'm way beyond being picky. His little fire hose decided to go astray on this most recent diaper change and christen my sheets.  Technically they're mom and dad's sheets since I'm still staying at their house, in their room.  (Mason says he's sorry Grandma, and he's sure his mommy will wash them first thing.) Of course she will. Mommy lives for laundry, diapers and bottles these days.  Mommy also lives for silly smiles, new exciting baby noises and incredibly sweet snuggles.  It's a give and take, an even balance, and I wouldn't trade it for the world, pee and all.
I was texting with my sister Kellie tonight and discussing options to try and prevent having to change his clothes along with every diaper change.  I could coat gauze with vaseline and wrap his little weewee with the gauze.  Or I could coat the little penis itself with vaseline instead of the diaper.  Lets think this over though.  Would you want someone touching your sunburned private parts 10 times a day? Not me.  No thanks.
Anyways, in all this discussion my phone auto corrected "penis" to Pennsylvania. We decided that I had just accidentally named his penis Pennsylvania. That's a new one.  Wonder if it will stick? No pun intended.
;)
See why I named my blog Adventures in Mommyhood? Lord help me.

Mason's Birth Story

Mason James Scott

Born August 17^th, 9:16 am

Northeastern Nevada Regional Hospital

6 lbs., 7 oz., 20 ½ in. long

Thursday night, the 15^th of August, I was up a lot with really bad back cramps.  I couldn’t get comfortable in any position and it was uncomfortable to even stand.  I eventually got to sleep and it felt like I’d barely slept when I had to get up to go to work Friday.  I decided that it was time to get this baby out so I left the house early and went to the high school track to walk.  I’d been walking a mile in the mornings a couple times a week and Friday could only manage ¼ of a mile before my bottom half felt like it was breaking in half.  I decided that was enough walking and headed to work.

I got to work early and my boss asked why I was there so early.  When I told him that I’d gone walking and felt like my parts were going to explode he suggested I go walk more and let them explode.  I joked with him that I probably didn’t want to do that at the high school track since the football team and cross country teams were there practicing; he agreed.

I was somewhat uncomfortable throughout the day and a bit cranky to go along with it.  I wasn’t having cramps or contractions, I was just uncomfortable.  I had lunch with Brianne and her boys and spend the rest of the day sitting and getting up to alternate between ouch and ooofta.  When 5 o’clock rolled around I was one happy girl.  I’d decided to go to dinner with Grandma and Aunt Becky and try the new Coffee Mug because its Grand Opening was that day.  We met for dinner right after work and I was able to eat half of my dinner.  I had to go to the bathroom pretty bad but nothing exciting happened when I did.  When I sat back down at the table I was really uncomfortable with back pain and had to kind of slouch to feel okay.  We finished dinner at about 6 o’clock and Grandma and I walked out to our cars together.  I had to stop a couple times going across the parking lot because of pains in my lower girly parts and Grandma told me I had to call her when I got home because she didn’t like how I was walking.  I agreed to call and got in my car.  Once I was in the car Felicia sent me a text message asking me to go see if her truck was locked because they were on their way to Salt Lake.  I drove over and checked and then drove straight home.  As I was coming in the house my house phone was ringing; Grandma was checking to see why I hadn’t called her yet to tell her I was home. J

I let the dog out and then I sat down on the couch to watch the Braves game.  It was an intense game, pitchers were hitting batters and the score was tied up.  My back was having cramps again and at Jenilee’s request I called OB to see what to do.  They said to try heat so I settled down with a heating pad, which felt amazing.  Finally the Braves pulled ahead with a walk off home run by Justin Upton in the 10^th.  It was exciting; I was quite involved in the game and realized I needed to go the bathroom pretty badly.  I got up, noticed the couch had a tiny spot on it from where I’d been sitting, went to the bathroom and peed.  When I got up I had some running down my leg, which I thought was weird because I’d just cleaned up from going pee…but I cleaned up again and went on my merry way.  I noticed that I had to go to the bathroom really often but thought maybe baby was just on my bladder or something.  My “back spasms” were getting worse again and I decided to tell Jenilee what was happening because we were texting.  She told me that I should call OB again and see what they said.  So I called (twice over the course of an hour or so) and was told that until my contractions (contractions?! Whoa!) were spaced 4 to 5 minutes apart I could stay home unless I was too uncomfortable.  At this point it was 10 pm and I really didn’t want to wake mom and dad up for what was surely going to be a false alarm so I was hesitant.  My “contractions” were anywhere from 3 minutes to 7 minutes apart and I figured they should be more regular than that if it was “real” labor.  I talked to my sister Katie and we agreed that although generally I’m just a wuss and this might be one of those times, I should call Mom.  So, I called and woke up my parents.  Dad answered and asked if it was time and I told him that I didn’t know and asked to talk to mom.  Mom and I decided that we should “go for a drive” and I got my stuff together to go to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital I was having contractions and whining that it was too painful and distinctly remember Mom telling me that I hadn’t seen anything yet.  Boy was she right!  Yikes.

We got to the hospital and checked in at 10:30pm on Friday the 16^th.  I’d called Ashley Ruffino (my coach and good friend) on the way to the hospital to see if she wanted to come up and she was on her way.  They took me upstairs and put me in a Labor & Delivery room.  I got changed into my “gown” and laid down for the nurse (Debbie who was married to Mike and had a daughter named Kimberly Ann who played softball around the same time as me!!) to check me for dilation and such.  She said I was at a 3 and asked me when my water had broken.  This seemed funny to me because I didn’t know it had and had spent the last bit in the room with mom and dad praying that my water wouldn’t break in front of my dad and embarrass us both.  Nurse Debbie assured me that my water was definitely broken, I was in labor and I WOULD be having a baby.  We figured out that when I had that trickle after my first trip to the bathroom my water had broken.  It didn’t do it in the typical “whoosh” way but slowly leaked over time.  I credit the Braves winning the game (3-2 against the Nationals) in the 10^th with my water breaking…it was a very exciting moment.  I even sent them a message on FB letting them know what they’d done!  No response, but that’s okay.

So, the contractions were getting worse and were all in my back.  I remember it feeling like someone was pounding rebar into my spine every time I got a contraction.  Ashley got there and was like an angel, saying just the right things (its ok, this one is almost over) at the right time.  Meanwhile, dad had figured out that the room he was standing in with us was the one where EVERYTHING happened and he ran for it.  He spent the night in the “waiting room” at the end of the hall which really was just some incredibly uncomfortable chairs at the end of the hall and refused to come back into the room until things changed…we’ll get there shortly and he’ll appear again.  Mom made her way back and forth between Dad and I all night, and I remember thinking it didn’t quite hurt as bad when mom was holding my hand.  Between her and Ashley I figured I might just survive this experience.

Nurse Debbie gave me some wonderful pain medicine through my IV to hold me over until it was time for my epidural and it ended up calming the contractions so much it put baby Mason to sleep, which was counterproductive.  So, they took away my pain meds and put me on Pitocin to start the contractions back up and wake him up.  It worked…yowza.

Through the night Mom, Ashley and I managed contractions, breathing and they spent a lot of time assuring me that no, I wasn’t dying and yes, it was worth it.  Eventually the magic epidural man (Jim) came and things got a lot better for me pretty quickly.  They had me sit up, cross my legs and lean forward, arching my back like a cat.  I was nervous because he was back there with a needle and about to put it into my back.  I was sure he knew what he was doing but when I got the twinge down my left leg it freaked me out and my first thought was “OMG, he paralyzed me.”  I learned then that the twinge was normal and he hadn’t actually paralyzed me.  He did great and it was over before I knew it.  I remember sitting up on the bed, bent forward with him sticking a needle into my spine…and here comes a contraction.  Great timing.  We made it through and when the epidural kicked in my whole world changed.  Ashley and I managed some sleep in the room and Mom and Dad hung out in the “waiting room” between stretching their legs and checking on me.  There was a huge leather recliner in the room for Ashley but Mom and Dad weren’t so lucky; the “waiting room” consisted of a row of chairs that were clearly missing the comfort part of the equation.  Luckily a super nice nurse managed to wrangle up some pillows for them, which helped.  I posted on Facebook that tonight was the night; it was baby time, and we waited. 

Early morning rolled around and things were progressing slowly.  Uncle Dave came up to check on us as he’d seen my Facebook post and since he usually had coffee with my parents in the mornings before taking Grandma to breakfast (every Saturday, what a good boy) he figured he’d just head to the hospital instead and check on us. 

Around 8:00 the nurse checked me and I’d progressed to a 6, which was great.  The nurse said if she HAD to guess we’d have a baby around lunch time and Mom and Dad, who’d been on the hunt for coffee in the hospital for hours to no avail, decided to go get some breakfast and headed out.  I laid back and tried to relax.  Ashley and I decided we’d get some more sleep while we could and I had a nurse bring Ashley a pillow.  We settled in for the next long haul and then the nurse came in, quite quickly, and said that baby Mason’s heart rate had dropped and she wanted to check me again just to see where he was at.  In that 15-20 minutes since the last check I’d dilated from a 6 to a 9 and baby Mason had dropped so drastically that his heart rate had dropped.  The nurse was concerned enough to call Marian (our angel of a midwife) to come see what was going on.  Marian came and did an ultrasound and we found what she’d dreaded…baby was head down but was face up.  The nurses referred to him as “sunny side up”.  The other thing she found was that there was cord down by his head; she couldn’t tell if it was around his neck or somewhere else down there but either way it wasn’t good.  She looked me in the eye and said “read my mind”.  I told her I read that it wasn’t good and we came to the conclusion that a C-Section was necessary. 

When the nurse had found that I’d progressed so quickly (before Marian got here) Ashley called mom and dad who had finished their breakfast and they headed back up.  They got there in time for Marian’s ultrasound and discussion so mom was with me when I found out that I would be going into the OR to have my baby, not pushing.  I was feeling a lot of emotions at that point.  I was scared because I’d had a close friend lose her baby at delivery because of cord around his neck and at this point Marian couldn’t tell me where the cord was, just that it was down by his head and that wasn’t good.  I was disappointed because I really didn’t want to have surgery.  I was excited because this meant it would be a lot sooner that I’d be holding my son, if all went well.  I was anxious, tired, and hungry and so many other things that in the long run wouldn’t matter.  Mom went to tell Dad & called Uncle Dave to tell him what was happening.  Dad decided that the room wasn’t as scary anymore since I wouldn’t be pushing out a baby in it and came to see me before I went into surgery.  Marian asked me who I wanted with me in the OR and even though Ashley had been an amazing coach my brain and my heart said “mom”.  Dad was given custody of the baby book for footprints when they brought baby Mason out and Ashley was given custody of “Grandpa” and the camera.

They put an oxygen mask on me, did a bunch of things to my IV, called in Dr. Winch and prepped the OR.  They gave mom her OR outfit, which we decided looked like a Stay Puft Marshmallow guy costume.  I made sure to ask Ashley to get a picture of mom in her outfit because I probably wouldn’t be paying attention and didn’t want to miss it. 

The magic epidural man (Jim was back) was back to do more magic “no feely” things and was a lot more communicative than before.  It’s not that he wasn’t nice the first time; he was just not as talkative as I was the first time we met.  (Found out later he wasn’t actually the guy on call and had been called in 4 times after 10 pm…I wouldn’t be talkative either!)  This time he kept asking if I was ok and patting my hand and telling me it was going to be okay; it was reassuring and made me feel a lot more comfortable with where I was headed.  They wheeled me into the OR and transferred me to the OR bed (that was a weird experience…having no feeling in my legs and just kind of floating from one bed to the other…).  Jim, my magic anesthesiologist, hooked me up to a bunch of things and even tried joking a bit.  The first time we met he would give me about a 2 second warning that something was cold before “attacking” me with it.  It went a lot like this: Jim – cold, Kim- what? And WHAM!  This time he knew I couldn’t feel anything on my belly but kept telling me what he was doing was cold anyways, just to make me smile.  That was something I needed, big time.  It’s one thing to feel all those crazy emotions in your L&D room surrounded by your loved ones but when it’s just you and your OR team in that crazy white sterile room it’s a lot scarier.

Eventually Dr. Winch, Marian and mom came in and we got started.  I had a sheet up in front of my face so I couldn’t see anything.  Jim and Mom were at my head and the doctor and nurses were discussing TV shows they enjoyed as they cut me open.  Mom was right where I needed her, rubbing my forehead and telling me who was doing what.  She couldn’t see the actual surgery but when Dr. Hernandez (pediatrician extraordinaire) came in I knew it, when she put a blanket over her shoulder I knew it, etc.  Pretty soon (after what seemed like forever) Dr. Winch asked if I was ready and told me that my baby boy would be out in about 30 seconds.  Those 30 seconds, waiting for that cry, seemed to last an eternity.  And then there it, that first amazing cry.  He was real, he was out, he was mad and he was mine.

It turned out his cord was not wrapped around his neck like I’d been so scared of.  It was over his shoulder and down to his bum.  This was still not good and if we’d tried the push route we’d have ended up in an emergency C-section anyways.  Turns out my stubborn little guy was not going to come out on his own.  He wanted a grand entrance, and boy did he get it.  Marian, the midwife, said that when they got me open he was laying there staring at them with his big bright eyes like “ok, finally you’re here!”  We’d been waiting and waiting on him to come to us, when all along it turned out we needed to go get him.

Dr. Hernandez and Mom took my Mason out to be cleaned up, weighed and all that good stuff while they finished with me in the OR.  Dr. Hernandez brought him in to me and when I looked at him all the bad memories, the hard pregnancy, the morning sickness, the body aches, the killer labor…it was gone.  This adorable little person looked at me, quivered his chin and I knew I was toast.  It was clear, very quickly, that nothing else would ever matter more than that little face and my job was not to be Kim anymore; my new job as Mason’s mom was under way.

After surgery they wheeled me to my recovery room, where Ashley was waiting.  Mason was there shortly after me with his entourage (Mom, Dad & Uncle Dave) and although I really wanted to I couldn’t hold him right away.  I had a massive case of the shakes which they told me was a little bit of shock and a lot of coming off the epidural and spinal.  I couldn’t feel anything but boy were things moving around.  I got to do a lot of looking at my son until my arms calmed down and I was finally able to hold him.  Snuggling up my little bundle after 9 LONG months of waiting for him was about the coolest moment of my life, so far.  We’ve got a long ways to go and a lot to learn but we’re going to be just fine.  Welcome to our world Mason, get ready…it’s quite a ride.